Recent decisions in our nation’s capitol have guaranteed that limits on campaign contributions will never again reduce our capability to bring the right candidates, with the right hearts, and the right minds to the forefront of the election process. In recognition of this unprecedented time in American history, Acolytica has completed a strategic agreement with EvCross (formerly Evangelical Crossway America) and the Most Reverend Fishman Tidings.
Between us, we are preparing a campaign war chest in excess of two billion dollars to be provided through a series of Super PAC donations to targeted candidates throughout the country. [ed: It would be inappropriate for us to provide specific names and/or races at this time, but we are allowed to assure you that it will include the country's highest offices.]
Through negotiations with other like-minded organizations, many of them also based in the Boulder-Springs region of Colorado, we believe that a total of over five billion dollars can be applied to upcoming campaigns if necessary.
The Reverend Perseus Cade, Founder of Acolytica and Gleaner of Souls, has assured us through the Epistle of Privilege that we have a duty to ensure that appropriate levels of power are retained in the hands of the Divinely Chosen.
This is outrageous!
Not the political contributions part, but this EvCross thing. What is that all about? The Most Reverend Fishman Tidings is sitting in my parlor at this very moment sipping mint tea, and he has assured me that he DID NOT authorize the name of Evangelical Crossway America to be altered in any way.
Other than that, let’s send all of those Lefties to the place they belong!